Date Night

Ok. So you want to hear about my date night? Like I mentioned earlier, this is something that is an ongoing issue for me in my marriage, so I am sure I won't cover much of it in one post and you will definitely learn more about it in future posts...

So, last Thursday, I was FED UP with my daughter. I love her, but damn! 7 months of breast feeding and I wanted a break. I want to go out and dress up and be with my husband. So, I tell my husband, "I WANT to go out". He says, "ok, so you want me to plan it?" I said yes, and that I wanted to go out on Saturday. Now, from where I live, going out means that you get ready, and then you drive 2 hours to the town that actually has something to go out to. It's a big deal and requires planning, especially with a baby. So...we have the sitter. The hubby's aunt live about half way to the city and wants to watch the baby. Great. One detail planned and covered by Friday night.

Along comes Saturday morning, and the hubby says, "You still want to go out?" (F*&^ Yes!) I say in my head. "Yes I still want to go out", I say. Why would I not want to? I am already getting the feeling of what lies ahead.... He says ok and we plan on leaving for the city by 4:30. That is enough time to drop the baby and probably be to dinner by 7:30 I am thinking. I am excited! I figure that the hubby has planned on dinner and maybe 2 hours of dancing and then we can get back to the aunts house before midnight and get the rug-rat.
So, I shave my legs (something I only do about once every 3 months. Not kidding. About every 3 months). I put on perfume (something I do about once every 3 months....). I even packed a condom (something we rarely do..) just in case I could get him frisky enough to stop on the side of the road coming back from the city.

So, if you knew my husband, you would know he is always late. I am ready by 4:30 but know not to expect him yet. 5:30 comes and I am starting to expect him any minute. Cause when he gets home, he has to shower and change (he farms and ranches, he has to clean up before going anywhere). 6:00 gets here and he finally makes it home. Of course, the boss needed things done and he couldn't get away... (One of our hang-ups. He will drop everything for his boss, but nothing for me.) He enters the house and gets ready but doesn't say a word. He just seems pissed he has to get dressed after his long day. He doesn't say that I look nice, or that I smell nice. (The possibility of sex is getting smaller...) He showers and we are out the door at 6:30. Two hours late already. BUT, I want to have fun, so I am trying really really hard to not be pissed. But, he finally did tell me I looked nice, right before we left the house..

He decides he wants to drive his pickup there. I don't know why, he just does. But, of course, it needs diesel. So, we stop and he fills his pickup up. On the road now by 7:00. He is still acting pissy about the whole event, so I finally say something about being so late, and now we can't do anything, cause by the time we get to the city it will be 9:00 and if we eat, then we just have to turn around and go back and get the baby. He gets pissed, flyes off the handle, cause "he is trying to do everything and is sick of never being good enough for me".... I tell him he is good enough for me, but his attitude towards ANYTHING outside the normal day to day is what upsets me. The fact that he will not try to do anything special. On a day to day basis, we are great. Get along good. And so on, but try to do a date...it just doesn't work anymore. Not for the past 2 years or so.

So anyway, I tell him to screw it, turn around, I don't want to go anywhere with him. He said "no, you want to go out, I am taking you out". Like I really want to go out with him being all butt hurt. So, I told him there was not time to drive to the city, we will drop the baby and go to eat in the next biggest town, then maybe go for a beer.

We go to D town, eat a crappy (I mean CRAPPY) steak. Then to a little bar and get a drink. We have always loved to dance and play pool, so I am hoping now for a dance or two and a game. Nope. He doesn't want to play pool, and nobody else is dancing, so he doesn't want to either...

See how this night is all about me?? I don't want to be a complete selfish bitch, BUT COME ON!!! I wash your laundry, I cook, I do dishes, I take care of the kid, I have TWO jobs. Seriously, he only changes a diaper MAYBE three times per WEEK. Can you PLEASE make one night about me. No.

So, we leave the bar at about 10:00. Get to the aunt's house about 11:00. Chat with them for awhile, and head to the house. Home by 12:00.

Crappy food. Crappy company. No dancing. No pool. Needless to say, no sex.

And, that is about what the last 2 years of dating my husband has been like. I don't know what to do. I don't play the silent mad game for days anymore, cause it doesn't do any good. I tell him what I want and hope that it will happen. But, seems like when I tell him what I want, he still gets pissed, takes offense, and claims that he can't ever make me happy...

What do I do?

Shutting up doesn't work. Speaking up doesn't work. Maybe I should get a babysitter, get dressed up and drive myself to the city, go out to eat and go dancing. Have a good time by myself?

So, that is just a run down of Saturday's date night.

Stay tuned for next months adventures in dating while married....